Hope

I have been neglecting my blog. Partly due to a lack of time but partly because I felt like I didn't have anything to write. Well, actually I had plenty to write but nothing that was good. Life has been rather stressful for the past few months and this last month or so has been a little more stressful. I didn't want to write a depressing post but I figure it IS a part of life, so here goes. 

The first issue is my parents situation. They sold their house almost two years ago now because they couldn't afford to live there anymore. That was like a death in the family - it was the house I had lived in since I was 6 months old. Very sad to lose it. They had a fifth wheel that they used to travel around in for about six months until my Mom decided that she really needed to be in a house again. Some place where she could garden again and they could have some stability. Well, they have not had any luck in their house hunt. They found a house last October that they bid on and went through the whole process only to have the bank reject their loan at the last minute. They had been renting an apartment for several months which they had to get out of by New Year's Eve and they found out about the bank rejecting their loan a day before that, so they had to move into the house of a former neighbor. The problem is this house is for sale, so they are now renting this house while continuing to look for another house they want to buy. It's been very frustrating and stressful for them. It's stressful for me as well because I wish I could help them in some way. I hate seeing my parents in this situation - they should be enjoying retirement now and not having to deal with this extra stress.

Another issue has to do with someone very dear to me whom I love very much. He is having problems moving forward in his life because of events in his past. I want very much to help him and I've given him information that would allow him to get help he can use. I am just afraid that he will not accept any help. I am afraid that he is stuck. He needs to realize that he is a wonderful person who deserves to be happy and deserves to be loved. Unfortunately I don't think that me telling him that will make him understand or make him believe it. I know that I can give him my love and support. I am here for him but I fear he won't reach out for the love and support I have offered.

The last issue isn't emotional but it is stressful. It's also my own doing. I am back in school (as you may know from a previous post) and of course that adds to the stress of everyday life. This semester I am taking chemistry and a lab that goes with it. So far it doesn't seem too bad but I've only had one week of school so far. It just adds to the stress I already have from work and other personal stresses.

I am not sure what I am being tested for but I definitely feel like I am being tested. I am a strong person though and I will persevere. I don't know how to not get through the downs in life. It's not in me to just lie down and give up...I'm a fighter and I don't see that changing anytime soon. Maybe some of it has to do with my middle name. Growing up I've always disliked my middle name (who doesn't dislike their middle name at some point?) but now I wonder if my Mom chose it to instill the meaning of my name into my life. Or maybe it was a reflection of that time period in her life and she chose the name so that it would bolster her own spirit. Either way, I feel like it has carried me through some tough times and will continue to do so for the rest of my life. Thank you Mom!

Hope - 1. desire accompanied by expectation of fulfillment. 2. one that gives promise for the future.

I continue to have hope. I hope for happiness. I hope for easier times for my parents. I hope for easier times for myself and my friends. I hope for my love to be returned. I HOPE!!

E=mc2 (squared)

Albert Einstein, I am NOT! Baby Einstein? Maybe I could handle that level. I am in the process of sweeping the cobwebs out of my brain. Time to use the ole noggin' again.....time to actually think and problem solve. Or at least problem solve things other than how to ramp up someone's workout or how to get patients to exercise at home.

That's right people.....it's been 3 years since I graduated with my Master's in Exercise Physiology and apparently it is time to go bacck to schoo-oooolll!!

I was out of school for about 3 years before I started taking prerequisites for the Master's program at SDSU. And now.....I am taking prerequisites again! YAY! (groan)

So the Fall semester has started and I had my first class today.....Introduction to Physics. SCARY! I have NEVER taken physics in my LIFE! (Much to my BF's dismay) There has never been a need for me to take Physics. We don't need it for Exercise Physiology and I certainly didn't need it for Photography. (I might have needed it for Environmental Sciences but I must have changed my major before I got that far)

Thankfully the class isn't ALL 18-year old's fresh out of high school. There are about 3 other people in the class who are over the legal drinking age....possibly even old enough to rent a car. There is even a woman in the class who is OLDER THAN ME!! Yippee!! Although she is only taking the class for fun. (HUH?) Apparently she has completed all her prereq's to get into Nursing school but is on a waiting list, so she is keeping busy by taking more classes.....like Physics and Trigonometry. (What's wrong with underwater basket weaving?)

So there is a good chance that my professor is the same age as me.....she might even be younger, it's kind of hard to tell. But she seems nice and determined to make sure everyone understands the concepts. (BONUS!)

So we started off with a trigonometry refresher.....good thing since I took that class in......oh.... 1994 or so! Pythagorean Theorem.....hmmmm, yep! I remember that term! COS, SIN, TAN....vaguely recall seeing those in class. Using them to determine the theta (angle) or hypotenuse or the side of a triangle?? FAT chance I'd remember that!! Ok, so after she explains it and goes over examples, I am understanding it better, HOWEVER, I didn't even realize that I'd need something more than a basic calculator for this class. Apparently you need one of the mini computers kids (yes, I called them kids) have nowadays that have a 3 inch screen where you can type five lines of mathematical equations (my heart rate has definitely increased and I can feel my cortisol levels increasing as well). SHIT! I vividly remember avoiding classes where I needed one of those calculators!!

Thankfully, the professor has informed the class that a Scientific calculator....not necessarily a graphing calculator, will work just fine. That I can do...much less intimidating!

So I made it through the first day of lecture with minimal problems (and no panic attacks). We have a lab right after our lecture although today there was about 45 minutes between the two because our lecture ended early. (Another BONUS!) So I ate my lunch at the same table and just hung out.....and discovered that the guys sitting at my table were gaming geeks. FORTY-FIVE minutes they were talking about which game was better on which system and the code behind the games....BLAH, BLAH, BLAH...... I considered using my fork to stab the geek closest to me to make them realize how geeky they were all being BUT I might need his help in class at some point, so I refrained.

Lab was short and sweet. Syllabus handed out.....explained.....and practice problems given. DONE! See you next week! WOOHOO!

So yes, I am taking a Physics class which meets twice a week. I just found out today I was also able to add a class in Abnormal Psychology which is all ONLINE! (DOUBLE BONUS!) Yes, I will be busy but at least I will be able to get two prereq's out of the way!

BTW - the prereq's I am taking are getting me closer to entering into a Doctorate program for Physical Therapy....wish me luck!! Or recommend a good Physics tutor.....although my BF is very well educated in Physics, so maybe I'm okay there......MAYBE! I will definitely welcome any helpful hints or tips for class!!